6.08.2005

Estefania has a new knee!

I'm baaaaaack! Yay, I'm home. Being in the hospital for major surgery was quite an experience. I'm just glad its over with. I've never felt so helpless. Is much better now, I am mobile, with a walker and doing good. I just had my first home visit from the physical therapist that I will be seeing 2 X's a week and she was surprised at my flexibility. Of course I told her it was because I'm a dancer. She was amazed at how well I am walking and how well I've been doing my exercises. I am determined to dance again. Next week we will work on going up and down stairs with crutches. That will be nice, to sleep in my own bed with DFH! Am stuck downstairs until then.

I have been learning many lessons, going through all of this. I've learned alot about myself, how fiercely independant I am. Because of that I'm learning how to ask for help. I've been taking pleasure in alot of little things, simple pleasures that I took for granted. For example, yesterday I was able to put on my socks by myself for the first time since the surgery! It felt like a major accomplishment; it felt good! And I've begun to realize just how blessed I am with my many friends who have offered to help out at home, bring me anything I need, taxi me around. I'm humbled.

So.....my goal is to be able to dance at my wedding in September. Think I can do it?

6.01.2005

Tribute to "E"

Tomorrow's the day....I will be in surgery bright and early in the morning, getting my new knee. I can't believe I'm looking forward to this! I am just so tired of not being able to walk normally, let alone every thing else. I have to walk with a cane right now....tell me that doesn't make me look old. It's amusing how much attention a cane attracts. I am going to be running around like crazy today, just making sure all last minute details are taken care of, both home and work. The plus side to all of this is that I have been working from home, in preparation for recovery. I won't be able to drive for 6 weeks so I set everything up to work from home. I love it! Wish I could do this on a permanent basis. I imagine I'd eventually feel "homebound", but I can always leave!

Anyway, all of that aside, I have "huge" expectations of this new knee. I hope I'm not setting myself up, but I really miss dancing. The last few weeks I've been to Tribal Fest and the Himalayan Fair (in Berkeley, CA), cane and all, shopping like crazy for "dance stuff". Every purchase I made, I thought to myself...."why am I buying this?.....who knows when I'll be able to use it?????" I guess it's my endless optimism that with this new knee I will be the most fabulous dancer you ever saw! OK....I know that's not true! Well.....I just love to shop???? How can you have too much "stuff"? That concept became all too real for me last night. I belong to a spinning guild, you know, spinning yarn on spinning wheels, like in Cinderella, Rumplstiltskin, etc. One of our long time members, "E", recently found out that she has terminal cancer, with only a few months to live. Every year we have our Christmas party at her beautiful home. She cooks a huge Turkey with stuffing and we all bring a dish to share. We always do a prirate gift exchange. She wanted to get together with us before she "goes", so we brought Christmas to her last night. All of us were there....the core group of original members, even an old friend and member who moved to Oregon drove down yesterday. It was fabulous. We even played the pirate gift game but with a special twist. "E" put all of her un-spun fibers, her "stash", in gift bags, large gift bags (!), 15 of them (!!). She gave us each a number and away we went. This was her way of distributing her "things" before she leaves us. It was a beautiful sentiment that brought pleasure to her as well as us, because as you know you can never have too much fiber! As we were "fighting" over the bags,(you ladies know who you are) it dawned on me that maybe you can have "too much". ....NAH, not, nada, no way! But now I know what I will do with all of my "stuff".....fibers, gourds, belly dance costumes, etc. And I will fondly remember "E" who planted that seed. So, you are all on my list.....when its my turn to go I'll leave a little piece of me with you.