12.09.2004

Perspective

It's funny how we as middle aged belly dancers are so hard on ourselves. I myself thought that my new solo was horrid. I am not a good dancer, yet I love it. I continue to dance because it pleases me and I need to remind myself of that as I'm having a self-lothing moment. Other people who see us dance think we are beautiful and why don't we listen to that. I know I'm to busy chewing myself out for forgetting this move or that sway step to hear anything else. Why is that?? When did being so self-judgemental take over from just the sheer love of the dance? I cannot put my finger on the date or the event. Could I just be burned out? When I go to the festivals, I am inspired to see all the other dancers performing but when I get home it's "who am I kidding." I guess I need to just kick back and take a deep breath and remind myself of who I want to be out there on stage. From audience perspective, they seem to enjoy the show. I have yet to perform and have someone walk up and say "You really sucked out there. You should go home and never show yourself on stage again." Nope, never has anyone said even a bad comment, lewd maybe, but never bad. I just need to remind myself to not take this all to seriously because I do this for fun. Right??? See you next performance. Tempest Sultana